She was lost. As to be expected after loss.  She knew it was grief and she knew it was coming, yet it did not cushion the crash she endured when he left.  Sadness deeply saturated her, like waterlogged skin wrinkled from too much exposure.  She knew it was part of the contract; the acceptance that when love is experienced, so is loss.  

Losing someone or something is dosed in micro and macro quantities throughout our entire lives.  Most associate a strong sense of grief to losing a relative or a loved one, a dear pet or a long cared for item.  The sentiment towards anything loved is automatically partnered with some sense of loss.  We experience this with anyone and anything we love in order to feel its importance and bond.  

Our experiences with grief are complex and unique to each individual, but within the human experience, we all share patterns within the grieving stages.  

General studies conclude that although everyone experiences grief in individual ways, we all have the capacity to work through the process in stages:

1. shock and denial- feelings feel dulled and the loss doesn’t seem real.
2. pain and guilt- you question yourself and feel shame for things you should have done differently.
3. Anger and bargaining- feelings of unfairness and upset erupt with a plea to higher powers for a change in outcome.
4. depression and deep sadness- the silent stage of loneliness and isolation.
5. complacency and withdrawal- numbness to new experiences and going through the motions.
6. reconstruction and repair- little moments within each day are brighter and easier.  
7. acceptance and hope- the intention to create new habits and enjoy a new way of life after loss with hope and gratitude. 

what is grief

Grief has higher levels of complexity in comparison to loss.  If I lose my favorite pair of sunglasses, I can replace them quickly.  Grief comes from a loss that is irreplaceable in emotional responses and connection.  We will all lose a loved one, a friend, a partner, a companion within the connections we make in life.  We have and will experience levels of grief throughout our entire lives.  How we endure these stages of grief is with awareness of healing and moments of glimmers.  

what are glimmers

Glimmers are the pure experiences that we get that bring quick moments of joy to bring us back to center and relieve us from pain.  It is a trigger of emotional response that is light and endearing.  Evoking a connection to your inner child, glimmers spark a memory or a feeling that brings hope.  

In contrast to a significant experience that brings an elated high for an extended amount of time.  Glimmers come in tiny packages of small moments throughout every day that impact the mindset for the following time.  It’s the hummingbird you see in the yard or the jar of boysenberry jam a coworker homemade for you.  It’s the little things that bring joy every day with tiny experiences of awe.  

Glimmers positively affect us by:

• Strengthens feelings of hope
• Elevates general mood
• Increasing well being and immunity
• Positively affecting mindset and mental health
• Sends cues of safety to the nervous system
• Helps balance triggers
• Improves awareness and consciousness
• Builds incrementally for good habits

When grief becomes part of life’s daily routine, it is challenging to see the rain drops sliding down the window as beautiful, but when you feel the presence of who you have lost and find joy in the privilege of having those memories, that is a glimmer.  The first sip of coffee in the morning with birds chirping at their feeder, that is a glimmer.  All of the little parts in life that create the being that is you are made up of glimmers.  

Healing takes time and there is no set timeline for when your loss will lessen or your grief will cease, but paying attention to the small meaningful moments add up.  Soon, the balance of life will return and micro moments of joy will add to your loving memories.  Try your best to use the following suggestions:    

coping comforts

Intentionally find glimmers every day 

be gentle and patients with yourself and loved ones

eat healthy and spend time outside

When loss comes and takes you through the journey of grief, remember and remind yourself that glimmers are always present and always there for you to notice.  Look up from your phone, stroll around the neighborhood, and gaze at the stars above.  

Grief is experienced by all of us and is the condition that binds our empathetic energies for connection through loss.  Our losses hold great significance in reminding us that our lives are impermanent and change is constant.  They balance our thoughts of advantage and value while giving the gift of gratitude for our blessings.  We all hold loss in our love and it is loss that pushes us to live the life we seek.  

Glimmers are found when our eyes are open to see them in the mindful moments that remind us of how truly beautiful this life is. So, smell the flower you pass by on your walk, smile back at the stranger, notice the soul discovering something, look up at the moon, listen to the wind shaking leaves, know that loss is a part of us and teaches us to honor our glimmers. 

Leoluna loves you~