She made the team through effort and practice.  Her sense of self worth stemmed from the coach’s directives and medals swinging from her neck.  All the defeat and failures from the past were worth it because she was where she felt she belonged and her comrades were her connections while her competition was only herself.  

Our sense of belonging can alter the perceptions we have of ourselves within the worlds we interact with and it is within these experiences that we determine through interpretations, judgments, and assumptions whether or not we belong or even want to belong.  

Belonging is the connections we have with specific groups, persons, and experiences to create a sense of feelings that build love. 

To be seen, heard, and felt

Think of a moment when you felt utterly invisible.  This could be a time when your significant other ignores you while speaking, or a stranger walks through the door you’re holding without acknowledgement of thanks; you walk into a meeting and no one smiles or makes eye contact.

Pay attention to how your body and mind feels right now.  

With these feelings, our strength to raise our voice and speak, to stand up and introduce a viable idea, or express our wants and needs wavers because our sense of belonging is fragile.

“Belonging happens when people feel safe, seen, and accepted.” (All quotations are excerpts from the book, Design for Belonging, linked below).   

Now, imagine walking into a board meeting and shaking hands with collaborators and exchanging laughter.  Visualize communicating with your partner or family member who places a hand on yours when you share a brave choice. 

Notice the shift in your body, your breath, and your mind.  Our sense of belonging alters the ways our body and mind connect.  Belonging builds trust in ourselves, in one another, and in our communities.   

Builds confidence for a life of learning and healing

The hunter who makes the kill to feed the village feels courage and strength to risk life again for the success of belonging to the tribe.

The intern suggests an adaptation to the company’s short term goals that will increase activity for long term benefits.  The participation is revered and a promotion is accepted with confidence in skills and intelligence.  

An established sense of belonging through invitation and welcoming behaviors reinforces the confidence to take healthy risks and understand setbacks and challenges as part of the community’s growth and progress culture.  

Dr. Camille Farrington has shown how belonging sets up students’ ability to adopt a learning mindset.  People “tend to interpret setbacks and difficulty in their studies as a normal part of learning, rather than as signs that they are ‘out of place.’”  Our connection and belonging to a community highly impacts our own individual growth and the openness in our minds to be continually engaged with new learnings and healing. 

Creates the ripple effect for well being and belonging

Our reactions and responses to each other are based on the build up of interactions and experiences we have.  We depend on interactions to gauge our next behaviors and see needs for correction in the future.

She walked through the door after a very long and disheartening day from work.  She was greeted by the stinky affectionate dog and a kiss, hug, and “how was your day?” from her partner.  They lived this way for years and his welcoming never wavered.  She always felt a sense of belonging with him and it carried through to the hard days at work.  

Whenever someone walked through the threshold of her office door, she would get up from her desk, pull out a chair, and greet them, “how can I help?”

We are unconsciously and consistently influenced by the small interactions we experience daily and our well-being is greatly affected by how those tiny moments build into actions that greatly affect how we treat others.  “Well-being is the quality that is most commonly correlated with belonging, safety, authenticity, connectedness, and growth.” Our well-being is strengthened when we have a greater sense of belonging; belonging to ourselves both physically, mentally, and emotionally is just as important as feeling a belonging to others.  To further connect with your own physical well-being, check out Leoluna’s  Top 5 Well-Being Practices For 2024.

Portions of this article’s content were inspired by the reading, Design for Belonging.

“Belonging is being accepted and invited to participate; being part of something and having the opportunity to show up as yourself.” Design for Belonging: How to Build Inclusion and Collaboration In Your Communities (no affiliate link).

Leoluna loves you~